Monday, September 19, 2011

Now Hiring Asians

Listened to Head Automatica for the first time in ages today and it was refreshing. I realized how few bands are bouncing around the stage not taking themselves so seriously. Don't get me wrong, you can be serious, but not be so serious. Running through the list of bands on my iPod I could only come up with a few current and past at a glance and I'm craving more of it. I need suggestions. I miss Weezer's blue album. I miss They Might be Giants Flood and Apollo 18. The kids albums was a funny idea..... the first time. Currently the only bands I could think of around town were Oh No No and maybe The Pink Spiders (ironically, Brandon Jazz's Armed Forces are also lyrically and visually entertaining and one of the few that fall in to this category as well). I know there have to be a few more though. Enjoy the Zoo did a decent job at it as well, but gone are the days. Ironically enough, something I never though on my life I would endorse, I was reminded of this feeling briefly during an encounter with Rad Bromance, the all-male Lady Gaga tribute band. You will not hear me endorse cover or even tribute bands very often as I am a purist when it comes to original music. That is a blog for another day though.

This is a very small list in my list of bands that I've ever seen or listened too. Don't get me wrong, there's a time and place for seriousness, but I just wanna dance with spaghetti arms sometimes and run around in circles, put my head in the air and say, "Lalalalalalalala!"

So, I'm hiring some Asians. It's time for me to front an all-Asian band. I have the name picked out and players I would like to play with, but I don't know if they'll want to play with me. If there are any Asians interested in fucking around and not taking yourself too seriously let me know. Yes. Only Asians. Why Asian you may ask? Maybe you know or maybe you don't know, but I'm not really Asian. People seem to think I'm Asian though. Mostly Asian people. White people usually don't get it. Asian people will argue me into the ground about it though. I don't have a problem with it though. Asian bitches are beautiful, so I'm in. We're going to bring the Asian back to Asian-America.

I'm tired about hearing how much in love you are with your boyfriend or girlfriend or how much you hate them. I despise off-stage dedications to "my lovely wife" and don't give two flying chucks about your political or religious views. I am busy rocking. I'm sorry you're sad and alone and sitting in a closet cutting yourself, because when you're in an all-Asian band you're never alone!

I'm not saying don't make serious bands, I just want more variety on my iPod when all I wanna do is bounce and sing silly lyrics. Help a girl out?!

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